Catapults at the Zombie Apocalypse

With all the news these days of cannibalism, brought on by the consumption of bath salts, followers of sci-fi and fantasy are beginning the communal “I told you so,” about the impending zombie apocalypse.

Remember, when the zombie apocalypse comes it’s very important to arm yourself. For those who want to pull off close quarter combat and blunt instrument will do. For those who don’t want to get that close to a flesh eating abomination, but still need to protect self, family, and friends from large groups, a catapult is your first line of defense. This is also good if hoardes of knights or barbarians decide to cross the homemade moat to siege your living room.

Able to take out large groups of enemies at long range. Why not a cannon? Missile launcher? How likely is it for the individual to find themselves on a well armed military base in the sudden infection of the Z virus, or large groups of people suddenly consuming large quantities of bath salts, causing a mass zombiefication of cities. Most people don’t own a forge or know how to handle metals. No, a catapult is your best bet.

Easy to make, especially if you prepare by pre ordering your products from a reliable appliance parts source, the catapult is a marvel of math and construction. (Before building a catapult, please check your state laws, unless the armies of undead have destroyed the government, thereby nullifying state boundaries.)

Before the purchase of pieces, or dismantling of appliances and furniture, it’s a good idea to decide what kind of catapult you are going to create. There are trebuchet, and ballistas. Probably the best for an inexperienced builder is a simple catapult. For those who are prepared, plans can be purchased online.

Because it is very unlikely to have enough bungee to create the force, a simple catapult involves a teeter totter method. It’s a lever with a fulcrum and a weight to create the force to propel your objects, or people, at a distance. The more the weight on one end the more that can be launched at your enemies. A force to stop the forward motion of your leaver will allow for a more accurate propulsion of the projectile. With a larger catapult, a rope with a pulley will allow for proper and quick reloading.

So when droves of humans begin to consume the flesh of the living, don’t become one of the undead. Be prepared and ready to create an arsenal of weapons from anything around you. Because knowledge is power.

Guest Author Malia Anderson is a Jacksonville, FL native and overemployed stay-at-home mom. In her spare time, Malia enjoys freelance writing, gardening, and DIY projects. Thanks for reading!

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