Well, there’s another one ticked off the bucket list.

After several years of being an unadulterated fan of Kevin Smith, collecting his directorial movies, his live performance DVDs, his best-selling books, reading whenever possible his Marvel/DC scripted comics and watching out for him on The Big Bang Theory, I was FINALLY going to achieve the Holy Grail of seeing his live show in person.

Or was I? Hastily bought tickets showed me that it wasn’t “An Evening With…” which comprises of a one man show with Smith taking questions from the audience nor would I see the onstage antics of Smith with long-time friend Jason Mewes.

Sigh.

Instead, I’d bought tickets to a live recording of his podcast. Specifically, his Hollywood Babble-On podcast with Ralph Garman in a tour called Babble the *U*K On. (Their asterisks, not mine). But still – I was going to see one of my all-time heroes live. A man who had the lifestyle I dreamed of – cult film director and celebrated geek and writer. A man who suffered, oddly enough, exactly the same kind of heart attack early last year that I had suffered a fortnight earlier, and had two stents in exactly the same arteries. Wow, cosmic coincidence or what? Kev and I have something in common. Almost makes the brush with death worth it.

But I digress. As usual.

The venue was the O2 Apollo in Manchester. And it’s not a bad venue, to be honest. Okay, it’s not the Manchester Arena, but then what is? I’d rate it as Manchester’s secondary venue, having been there previously to see the likes of Alice Cooper and Rob Zombie. If it’s good enough for THOSE legends, then darn, it’s good enough for anybody.

As I and my family took our seats, we were pleasantly surprised to find ourselves sitting dead centre of the circle with a fantastic view of the stage. This being a live recording of a podcast, naturally enough there wasn’t an opening act. But again, frankly how many people actually like opening acts? They’re often just there to eat up time before the main attraction.

Messrs Smith and Garman took to the stage at around 8:15, to the rapturous applause of an adoring crowd. Their set-up was simple and basic. A black sheeted table with two chairs and two microphones and a screen behind them.

Smith opened the show with an audience pleasing appreciation of Manchester, having spent his day wandering around alone, enjoying the street markets with their offerings of locally created art, a bagful of which he had brought onstage to show. It’s not unusual for a performer to engage with the audience by name checking familiar places in their home town, but to be honest Smith seemed both genuine and sincere in his warm appreciation of the warmth of the people he had encountered during his day of wandering around, basking in the May sunshine.

He announced that on the strength of his enjoyment, he had decided rather than press on to the next venue with Garman as planned, he intended to stay an extra night in Manchester in order to experience another day of exploring by himself. He mentioned his intention to visit Forbidden Planet (frankly, Manchester’s Forbidden Planet is my favourite comic book shop of all the ones I’ve been to) and asked for suggestions where else he could go. Several people shouted out Travelling Man, another comic book shop situated quite close by to Forbidden Planet, but onstage, they misheard and were convinced they were told to go to Travelling Lung. I’ve been wondering ever since if he actually made it or if he’s still chasing an errant lung.

So, on with the show (I honestly have no idea when or if they were recording the event for their podcast or not – or when the podcast would be available) but the show, for those of you who don’t know, is a weekly digest of regular features from Garman and Smith, and their take on the big news stories of the week from Tinseltown.

Many of you will know that lately, Smith has been directing Jay & Silent Bob – the Reboot, which brings his famous creations back to the screen for the first time since Clerks 2 which was released thirteen years ago. The final cut of the new film had been completed just before Smith headed to our shores for this tour and he had kindly brought along a short clip to share with the audience – a clip which featured co-host Ralph Garman, but that’s all you’re getting – Kev swore us all to secrecy. The film will be released in the UK in the autumn and by what I’ve seen, I have an appointment opening night at the nearest cinema I can find.

Toilet humour is a prerequisite at any Kevin Smith show. If you’re not prepared for that and monologues peppered liberally with the F-bomb, you’re clearly in the wrong place. Happily, neither myself or my family are easily offended and we settled down to a hysterical evening of crude and profane observational humour.

The podcast comprises of several segments, including a look at the sometimes-skewed view that the Japanese have, gloriously (or gory-ously) demonstrated by the photos of a themed restaurant where the theme was an autopsy room. (No, I’m not kidding). As this is a family friendly website, I won’t go into any great detail – but should I ever find myself in downtown Tokyo, in that restaurant – I will NOT be ordering dessert.

Another segment featured inappropriate toys, and I was with them all the way on this one. I’ve been pretty confused for some time about the poop games that show up in shops like Home Bargains where the whole object of the game is to hook as many plastic turds as possible. I mean, seriously – who plays those games? What happened to Hungry, Hungry Hippos and Ker-Plunk. Anyway, the segment was about one such game, which for a reason that escaped Garman, Smith and the massed audience was called “Save the Sh*t” in the Philippines. It’s a strange world and it’s getting stranger every day.

Turning to their view of entertainment news, nobody either on stage or in the audience was particularly enthused by the news of Justin Bieber and Ed Sheeran joining their…um…talents (a word used loosely if ever there was one) on a song. It was suggested that the best view of Bieber would be his walking into the sea until submerged. I did not disagree.

The showbiz segment also featured a respectful obituary to Mod Squad and twin Teaks actress Peggy Lipton who had sadly passed away earlier in the week.

And that, as they say SHOULD have been that, except Smith took some time to take questions from the audience and stayed a bit longer while Garman exited the stage and left him to it.  He was completely frank and honest in answering questions about the likelihood of making a Clerks 3, how his attitudes towards life and film making had changed since his heart attack, and a whole lot more.

All in all, leaving the Apollo after a solid 90 plus minute show, I was more than happy that I’d got more than my money’s worth in a hybrid of a podcast AND Smith’s usual one man shows. When he was funny, he was hilarious and incisive. When he turned a little more thoughtful and introspective, he gave me food for thought. Surely that’s a total package right there.

Marks out of ten? I thought it might rate a seven, but in reality – it’s a total, unreserved nine.

Robin Pierce

Full-time professional horror/sci-fi/movie/comic book geek. Occasional scribbler for Blazing Minds

robinpierce.co.uk/